


How to summon a Crowley

by zezo



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Being Crowley, Crowley has a soft spot for children, Crowley says trans rights, Fluff, Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 18:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20068390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zezo/pseuds/zezo
Summary: Someone summons the demon Crowley hopping he could solve all his current problems. What he didn't count for was Crowley's soft spot for children.





	How to summon a Crowley

It's almost 3am in Madrid, most people would think midnight is the best time to summon a demon, self proclaimed experts say 3am, the most hunted hour of the day is the ideal. However those who the proper research know the time doesn't matter [1].

It's not easy finding people who actually know how to summon Satan [2] nowadays [3]. It took him 6 months of almost exclusively using incognito tabs to find the proper equipment and another month to cover his trail from all the times he forgot to do it. He had programed an alarm at exactly 2:59am so he could lit the last candle of the pentagram when the time came.

Meanwhile in Soho a demon warmly cuddled with his Angel sleeping in the bookshop couch. So warm, so cozy, so nicccce, so loved… With that thought, he smiled in his sleep.

The kid was practically sweating waterfalls. Everything he needed was ready: the pentagram crowned by 4 lit candles and one waiting to join them; the witchcraft book with a note of how to properly pronounce the spell and a Crucifix just in case anything went wrong [4].

2:59am, the demon wrapped himself around his Angel spooning him, not entirely sleep but definitely not awake. The angel smelt like hot cocoa and the demon smelt like coffee. He smirked grabbing the demon's hand when suddenly…

3am, it's now or never, thought the boy. He lit the candle "Veni Daemon, tractemus; Convoco Daemon, mihi opus." [5] Then he proceeded to say the name of the demon 7 times while grabbing the Crucifix as his life depended on it waiting for it to come.

Crowley woke up on a pentagram inside someone's basement. Great, he thought, those damn Satanists are at it again. But as he raised his sight, expecting to find a room full of cultists, he only found a scared child hiding behind a Crucifix and a book with an expression which somehow combined relief and terror.

He stood up as he snapped his fingers making his pijama into his normal outfit. “This better be good. You interrupted my beauty sleep and I take beings gorgeous very seriously”

“Are you… ” he swallowed saliva nervous, “are you a demon?”

“I try to but I'm not really good at it”

The kid looked thoughtful “That's good enough I suppose.” He cleared his throat “Listen to me foul fiend, I have summoned you for I want to offer you a deal.”

Crowley smug smirk dropped almost as fast as celebrities get out of jail for minor offenses “You're young kid, I won't do this to you. Trust me when I say you don't want to go to Hell”

The kid reluctantly scanned Crowley. He seemed genuinely sorry, but he couldn't, could he? He is a demon after all. “I'm not going to fall for your tricks, whatever it is. All I want to do is sell you my soul so my wish is granted and I can finally be happy. I don't care for the consequences”

“Ugh… Kid” he needed to talk some sense into him, “What's your name?”

“That, erm, that's a complicated question” Crowley smiled on his inside. The kid isn't evil, he's just going through a lot. 

“Let me guess, haven't choose one yet?” the kid fidgeted with his hands breaking eye contact. “As I suspected you are not a bad kid, not a bad boy. But I can't take your soul, I don't want to ruin your life”

The kid broke down crying and falling into his knees. The demon suddenly felt a wave of empathy and fondness. Stupid feelings, he thought, stupid demon. “Hey, don't worry about that kid. I've been there too. Had to change mine a couple times before it settled”

“But I need it, please. I will do anything, anything at all I will serve you for all eternity but please”

Crowley saw himself on the teary eyes of the boy and the tiny tiny nice small part of his heart decided he couldn't bear it as he grunted “Fine”

The kid beamed from beneath the tears. “I don't usually do this, as a matter of fact it is my first time” he sighed “But I won't take your soul as a method of payment, you can ruin your life by yourself. I want the book…” be looked around the room for anything he might like “And that cabello de ángel too [6]”

The teen nodded almost aggressively happy as Crowley snapped his fingers changing the body features of the boy into anatomically boy body features.He took the book and the dessert, examined his work and smirked.

“Robin, I think it suits you” And so he disappeared

“Robin…” the name tingled on his lips as it escaped his mouth “Robin.” He smiled.

* * *

He returned to the bookshop where Aziraphale wasn't on the couch anymore. He'd been waiting him on the kitchen making some tea. “Rough night, love?”

“I wouldn't exactly say so”

Aziraphale seemed confused “I thought the Satanists summoned you again?”

“That's what I thought too. But hey Angel look, I got you something” “You went to Spain in the night, leaving your poor poor angel alone, to get some cabello de ángel? ”

“I didn't plan it but once I was there I thought I might as well take advantage of the situation. I also brought you a book”

“A witchcraft book in Spanish? I thought the inquisition burnt all the copies. Oh dear Lord, Crowley what have you done?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just the standard deal with the devil”

Aziraphale, who knows his demon, hugged him from behind as he smiled in relief “Sure thing my willy old serpent ” As a reply , Crowley hissed softly which lead to Aziraphale bopping his nose as he stuck his tongue out.

And yes Crowley lied. It wouldn't be the first nor the last time he would do something like that. After all he couldn't resist humans sad requests. Specifically if in exchange he could obtain something to make his Angel happy.

* * *

Footnotes 

[1] But the teen who is about to perform the ritual has only done enough research so he can get what he needs and so he missed this crucial detail. 

[2] or any of his Subordinates for that matter. 

[3] Most of them are just bluffing and the ones who are not, tend to be dangerous. 

[4] He didn't think about Holy Water before, why didn't he think about Holy Water before! Well it's a little bit late now, isn't it? 

[5] "Veni Daemon, tractemus; Convoco Daemon, mihi opus" is supposed to mean "Come demon, let's deal; I call you demon, I need you." buuuut I wrote it myself and my Latin is terrible. 

[6] Hey, he's already been nice enough and he is a demon after all so yes he may take some advantage of the situation. Besides you'd also do the same if cabello de ángel was involved. Btw cabello de ángel means [Angels hair ](https://images.app.goo.gl/8dZ6dgeDFjB8naB77)in Spanish and it's some kind of marmalade made out of watermelon. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] How to summon a Crowley](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134870) by [noirection](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirection/pseuds/noirection), [zezo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zezo/pseuds/zezo)


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